The most common reason for a second marriage is that the first one ended in divorce. you are divorced and considering remarriage, you should know that people who marry again after divorce have a much higher rate of divorce than do people who marry for the first time. It's not that they're bad pickers; it's just that they tend to make the same mistakes their first spouses did. In your second marriage, you have a chance to make things better. The first time around, you had no idea what you were doing. Now that you know what it takes to make a marriage work, you can work on making your second one even better than your first.
here are some things to think about:
*Define your expectations. What do you want from this marriage? Do you want to be in love? Do you want a family? Do you want financial security?
*Be realistic about what this marriage can give you. Don't expect too much from your new spouse or yourself. Don't expect perfection. Expect change — both good and bad — in your new relationship as well as in yourself!
*Don't rush into it. First marriages often involve a significant period of courtship, but remarriages are often more spontaneous. If you've been divorced for several years, give yourself at least six months of dating before you decide to marry again. You need time to get used to being with each other again and see if there's still any real chemistry there.
*Have a solid foundation before getting married again. This includes knowing what went wrong in your first marriage and how you can avoid those mistakes this time around, as well as having healthy communication skills and good conflict resolution tools in place so that disagreements don't escalate into bigger issues later on down the road.
*Don't jump back into bed right away — or at all! It may seem like a good idea at first because it feels like a return to familiar territory, but unless both of you have gotten over all your issues from past relationships (including yours
*Be open, honest, and communicative with your spouse. Let them know what's going on inside of your head, especially when things are difficult or frustrating. This will help them understand you better and support you in ways that they may not have been able to before.
*Make time for each other. There's nothing worse than feeling like your spouse is always busy or working late when all of their friends get to see them all the time. If this happens often enough, it can cause resentment and hurt feelings that may lead to divorce. Be sure to schedule date nights once every week or two so that nobody feels left out or ignored by their partner.
*Set some ground rules early on in the relationship so that both partners know what is expected from them and each other as far as communication goes. Some couples choose an "open door policy" where they agree to talk about anything and everything no matter how small or insignificant it may seem to be
*Make sure that you have a clear understanding of what went wrong in your first marriage and why it didn't work out. If you don't understand the reasons why your first marriage failed, you'll never be able to make the necessary changes so that your next one will work out better.
*Find out what went right in your first marriage (if anything). It's important to know what went well in your previous marriage so that you can incorporate those same positive qualities into your new relationship.
*Understand that no relationship is perfect; there will always be things about your partner or yourself that bother or annoy you (or vice versa). The key is to try to accept these imperfections as part of their personality rather than letting them become an excuse for arguing or fighting all the time about little things that don't matter in the long run anyway.
*Don't expect too much from yourself or anyone else; this will only lead to disappointment if things don't turn out the way you expect them to be.
*Get comfortable with your partner's family. Chances are good that if you're getting married for the second time, you've already met your partner's family — including perhaps his or her children from a previous marriage. But how well do you know them? If your spouse-to-be has a grown child from a previous relationship, for example, have you spent time alone with that child? Are there any unresolved issues between them and their father or mother? It's important to get to know each other's families well before walking down the aisle so that there aren't any surprises later on down the road.
*Have realistic expectations about money matters and establish a budget together before getting married again. Marriage does not automatically mean "money equals love," but in fact can sometimes lead to less financial security in many cases.